This week I’ve spent a lot of time sitting on a wall thinking. Earlier today whilst on that very same wall I had a great idea. I figured that it would be beyond fantastic if you could go to a place just like a pub, but instead of being filled with strangers, the place would contain only your friends or friends of friends. Then I realised that this had been invented already and was called a party.

Unfortunately this happens to me quite a lot. I think I’ve invented something quite spectacular only to be grounded quickly in disappointment when I realise that some enterprising person has got there before me. If people had not got there before me I would have invented cash-point machines, net curtains and tennis.