There’s a lot of important stuff that has been going on during this election. But like me, you’ll have been preoccupied with trying to figure out what the dullest sounding constituency is.

Having looked at the list of all 650 constituencies, I have decided that the following are my top 14 (in no particular order) of really dull sounding constituencies. These are the sort of places you’d be sent to if you did something horrid and very wrong. Something like bumming a dog or letting down the tyres on an ice cream van.

1. Erewash

2. Boston and Skegness

3. Sleaford and North Hykeham

4. Luton South

5. Croydon Central

6. Feltham and Heston

7. Congleton

8. Pendle

9. Dudley South

10. Brigg and Goole

11. Hull North

12. Batley and Spen

13. Pudsey

14. Gordon

I’m thinking that I want to glam these places up. What about a new party for the next election aiming to have a candidate in each of these 14 constituencies? I’ve already decided that I want to put a statue of Marc Bolan up in Hull North and a mosaic of Tina Turner in Pendle. I think these small measures will boost these places profiles enormously and lift them from their dull sounding environment.

I’ve not really given it any more thought than that. Have you got any ideas? Name of party, colour of rosette, policies – I need ideas. I know that you good people never let me down.

As an aside, during my research I noticed a constituency called Tyne Bridge. How cool is that? A bridge that is a whole constituency. I’m guessing the way it works is that anyone on the bridge on election day gets to vote. I wish there was a bridge near me. I’d campaign for that to become a constituency too.